A 'First' Mother's Day

All day, I kept getting, "It's your first Mother's Day."

And while it was according to the holiday, I kept thinking about how it's my 235th day as a mother.

While it was a wonderful day of feeling loved and appreciated (and loving on my own momma and mother-in-law), it is even more wonderful being a mother every day.

I feel so blessed to have the privilidge of raising Jack.

Ever since I was a little girl, all I wanted was to be a mother.

I feel like I'm doing exactly what I was meant to do.

And, I love it.

Yes, there are days that are difficult and challenging, but I wouldn't trade it for anything.

Here are some pitures of our Mother's Day Weekend.

On Satruday, we headed to the beach for some family time since we would be with our own mother's on Sunday. (These pics were super bright, so I put a filter on them to try and tone them down).

 

Jack was very intrigued with the sand, but wasn't so sure exactly how he felt about it.

 

I woke up to these on Sunday.

My favorite.

After church,we headed to Jason's parents for a Mother's Day brunch with his family.

His grandparents came down for the Sacramento area, so it was great to celebrate with them as well.

My sister hosted our family and her husband's family that evening for a bbq.

My mom and Jack.

The kids went swimming since we had such warm weather this weekend.

Jack enjoyed watching them.

Until he got splashed...

Great weekend.

Feeling so blessed to have so much family close by to celebrate with.

Hope all you mommas had a great day of feeling cherished for all you do and that you cherish all the days you have with your kiddos.

Adjusting

I feel like time has been escaping me/us (as a family) the past few weeks.

Like, I haven't had time to do a lot of things I need/want to do...(hence not blogging in over a week).

Where is the time going?!

Ah!

I know life with one kid is 'easy'...

Or at least a lot easier than with multiple.

But, it's still an adjustment.

And there's a lot less 'me' and 'me and Jason' time.

And we've had a lot more to adjust to than just a new baby over the past few months.

In my 2013 Goals post I wrote about how Jason started working part time at our church (in addition to his full time job) in November (2 months after Jack was born).

We both agreed that this would be good because it gives Jason more experience in ministry, which is where he wants to go.

And, since I went to part-time teaching, this paycheck makes up the difference (plus more).

It also allows us to pay for seminary...which he started at the beginning of January (goes to class on Saturdays and does homework on the week nights that we don't have church activities).

So, needless to say, he is super busy...which means I'm also really busy because I've got the little man to watch when Jason's busy.

I'm also adjusting to working part-time...which is so, so nice...

But spending less time at work, means less time to grade, lesson plan, etc...which means bringing work home and trying to find time to do that when I'm tired and just want to go to bed. (Hence the projects that have been sitting in my bag for over 2 weeks now. Sigh)

At first I was trying to do a bunch of things when I got home from work while Jack was still up...like clean, cook, bake, grade, read books for bible studies we're in, etc...

But it wasn't working too well.

I realized I just need to focus on Jack.

I really try to give Jack all my attention when he's up for 2 reasons:

1) I want to spend quality time with him since I don't get to see him the first half of the day, and he goes to bed between 6:30 and 7, so that really only means about 5 or so hours a day with him.

2) I find I get frustrated when I try to do something while he is up, but then get interrupted because he wants to be held or wants my attention (he is definitely becoming more aware of my presence). So I've found it's much more enjoyable to just give him all of my attention and do things after he goes to bed or when Jason gets home and can watch him for a little bit.

We are a few months into this huge life transition, and Jason and I are realizing that we also need to be much more intentional with our time as a couple and family.

Quality time has become huge for me over these past few months.

But, we've realized that we're often giving each other our 'leftovers'...

And we try to schedule things to do as a couple or family after we realize that we already have the month all booked up.

So, we've started sitting down with our calendars at the beginning of the month and blocking out days and nights that we will spend together.

This way the month doesn't go by, and we realize that we didn't get any time together (except for maybe going to Costco or Target).

Hoping that we begin to adjust better to all we have on our plate and make positive changes.

Life is only going to get crazier and busier in the future, so we better figure out a game plan while we have a chance.

In other news, I finally paid someone to spruce up my blog...loving the new look. 

Still have to find time to actually write in my tabs, though.

And, here's a little loving from our Jack...

 Hope to be back soon.

All You Mamas Out There...

I posted last week about a family who lost their 8 year old daughter to cancer.

I wanted to share a piece from her blog, written by her mother.

"My final request to all who read this blog: love. Love your babies, your husbands, mothers, sisters. Love each day like it’s your last. All you mamas out there, you have been entrusted with the precious gift of a human life who depends on you. Enjoy your gift. Breathe in the scent of your child’s hair, breath. Let them cook with you and make a mess of the kitchen. Play hide and seek with them, build sand castles with them, take them on picnics, read to them!  Listen to them, value and respect them, never shame them.  Your words they will carry with them their whole life and you have the power to give them wings or stunt their growth. Motherhood can be tough but it’s worth it. It can be exhausting, boring, tedious, but never for long. You blink and they’re grown. It has been my honor and privilege to love Daisy these last 8 years. I’m thankful for every minute; the joyful and the terrible alike." - Kate Merrick

These words are such a good reminder to take time to truly cherish and BE present with our kids. It's so easy to get caught up in the busyness and 'to-do's" of our daily life that we lose out on the sweet, precious moments with our little ones.

Jack is only 5 months old, and I already can see the struggle of trying to play with him while doing something else at the same time, instead of giving him my undivided attention. And while he might not 'know' that right now, I don't want to get in the habit of giving him half my attention.

Our kids are only young once and we don't know the number of days we will get with them (I'm sure Kate thought she would get more than 8 years with her little girl). I want to make the most of my time with them.

So, I've been squeezing this little guy extra tightly the past week.

Oh, How He Loves Us

I'm not a huge Valentine's Day person.

It's just never done it for me.

Not into the hype.

Single...dating...now married...

I could care less about it.

Jason isn't into it either.

We have NO plans for the night, and I'm quite fine with it.

We did cancel our college group, though, which means we get a free night in which we are usually busy.

That works for me. 

However, I wanted to share something that Jason and I have been talking about and dwelling on a lot since Jack was born.

And since it's about Love, I figured what better day to write about it than on a day that is all about love.

Two weeks ago in church, the worship band was playing the song 'Oh, How He Loves Us.'

Our pastor's wife was sitting in front of us holding Jack (she always takes him as soon as we walk into the service. I love that).

Jack was starring over her shoulders, looking at me and Jason.

As I listened to the song and looked at my son, I was overwhelmed with love.

Love for my son.

And love for my Savior.

It brought me back to the those first few days and weeks after Jack was born.

Becoming a parent has helped me grasp a little better the vast love God has for me.

Jason and I have had this conversation many times...

The moment Jack was born, there was an overwhelming love for him that is indescribable. (Yes, I loved him the moment I heard that first heartbeat...but there is nothing like the moment you first see and hold your child for the first time).

Instantly, I loved him.

In our adult lives, we're used to growing to love someone over time.

When I met Jason, it took me months to come to a place where I could say I loved him.

With my friendships, it takes time to foster such a relationship where there is a true love for that person.

But with Jack, there was nothing he needed to do to earn my love.

As a helpless baby, there was really nothing he could 'do' for me.

In fact, he was completely dependent upon me.

If anything, his need for me just grew my love for him, as I got to provide for his every need.

Just sitting with him and watching him was joy.

And, there was nothing he could do to make me love him less.

The sleepless nights, the puking, the crying...

None of it could take away my love for him.

If someone were to ask me if I would die for Jason, I'm pretty sure I would.

But, I am 100% certain that I would give my life for Jack. 

Without a doubt.

And this love I have for Jack, 

this overwhelming, passionate love,  

is just a taste of the love the Father has for me.

For us.

I get it a little more, now.

How he could love me so much, despite all my shortcomings and faults.

Despite all the times I have turned from him.

Despite my lack of love back.

I have done nothing to earn his love.

There is nothing more I can do to receive his love.

He loves me just as I am.

So much, that He would die for me...

even though I can give him nothing of value...

except relationship with Him.

Relationship with us is what He wants.

That's the desire of His heart.

That's what gives Him the most joy.

 And it makes a little more sense now.