Thursday, February 14, 2013

Oh, How He Loves Us

I'm not a huge Valentine's Day person.
It's just never done it for me.
Not into the hype. married...
I could care less about it.
Jason isn't into it either.
We have NO plans for the night, and I'm quite fine with it.
We did cancel our college group, though, which means we get a free night in which we are usually busy.
That works for me. 

However, I wanted to share something that Jason and I have been talking about and dwelling on a lot since Jack was born.
And since it's about Love, I figured what better day to write about it than on a day that is all about love.

Two weeks ago in church, the worship band was playing the song 'Oh, How He Loves Us.'
Our pastor's wife was sitting in front of us holding Jack (she always takes him as soon as we walk into the service. I love that).
Jack was starring over her shoulders, looking at me and Jason.
As I listened to the song and looked at my son, I was overwhelmed with love.
Love for my son.
And love for my Savior.

It brought me back to the those first few days and weeks after Jack was born.
Becoming a parent has helped me grasp a little better the vast love God has for me.

Jason and I have had this conversation many times...
The moment Jack was born, there was an overwhelming love for him that is indescribable. (Yes, I loved him the moment I heard that first heartbeat...but there is nothing like the moment you first see and hold your child for the first time).
Instantly, I loved him.
In our adult lives, we're used to growing to love someone over time.
When I met Jason, it took me months to come to a place where I could say I loved him.
With my friendships, it takes time to foster such a relationship where there is a true love for that person.

But with Jack, there was nothing he needed to do to earn my love.
As a helpless baby, there was really nothing he could 'do' for me.
In fact, he was completely dependent upon me.
If anything, his need for me just grew my love for him, as I got to provide for his every need.
Just sitting with him and watching him was joy.

And, there was nothing he could do to make me love him less.

The sleepless nights, the puking, the crying...
None of it could take away my love for him.

If someone were to ask me if I would die for Jason, I'm pretty sure I would.
But, I am 100% certain that I would give my life for Jack. 
Without a doubt.

And this love I have for Jack, 
this overwhelming, passionate love,  
is just a taste of the love the Father has for me.
For us.

I get it a little more, now.

How he could love me so much, despite all my shortcomings and faults.
Despite all the times I have turned from him.
Despite my lack of love back.

I have done nothing to earn his love.

There is nothing more I can do to receive his love.
He loves me just as I am.
So much, that He would die for me...
even though I can give him nothing of value...
except relationship with Him.

Relationship with us is what He wants.

That's the desire of His heart.
That's what gives Him the most joy.

 And it makes a little more sense now.


Bethany Paige said...

I just popped over from Mel's blog and had to say what a beautiful post this is! Your baby boy is so sweet and adorable, and it sure makes me miss when mine were that small- my oldest just turned 13 1/2!

Hope you have a wonderful weekend! And Happy {Belated} 29th! =) Bethany

mel @ the larson lingo said...

I love this post!!!!!! So true, so very, very true!
It's the 2nd post today that made me tear up!